“SAVAGE” STEVEN VUKCEVICH
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THE ULTRA-LATE ADVENTURES OF STEVEN VUKCEVICH AND THE RIDDLE OF STEEL
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FEDERICO’S IS OPEN 24 HOURS A DAY!
There have been times in the exalted history of Jim Rage’s Elite Zombie Hunting Squad that things have gotten tough. Never so tough, mind you, that we couldn’t take care of it. After all, we’re 100%, and all the fates have ever been able to muster against the brave, brave employees of JREZHS has at most been 82%. Nothing we couldn’t handle, but enough to significantly impact our capacity to update the website and add more awesome things. So, occasionally, time passes by and Jimrage.Com lies fallow, silently awaiting a startling news flash or the latest wise utterance from Baxter “Bhao Khandan” Black.
This past year has been a dramatic one, especially as much of it was related to our loyal readers in all-caps. Worlds lived, worlds died, and nothing will ever be the same. As the dust settled from the nigh-apocalyptic battle in which JREZHS saved your life as well as the lives of everybody you like (and technically everybody you don’t like too, but if you ignore them, they’ll disappear) from the Church of Living Death, it became clear that something important had been forgotten, something that had been eclipsed by the sheer magnitude of the bloody battle.
“Savage” Steven Vukcevich, that swell guy who heard the call and proved he had what it took, was in dire peril.
The following are taken verbatim from Vukcevich’s final diary entries. Sent in a tattered envelope along with supporting document such as impromptu sketches, these entries indicate that Savage Steven was in one sticky situation and by sticky situation I mean a situation of imminent doom.
DAY 1
07/12/06
Dear diary,
I have finally reached the small village of Ambodiforan, Madagascar. The whole valley looks as thought it was set aflame.
Charred remains fill the streets. I feel they are the diseased ones, set fire to by living. This sets the possibility that a small few may still be alive.
The captain has come down with a horrible flu virus and is in critical condition. The doctor will not tell us anything, which makes our whole cabin fear death coming closer.
Only time will tell.
“Savage” Steven Vukcevich
DAY 5
07/16/06
Dear diary,
To our dismay the doctor has just revealed to us that Captain K was not diagnosed with the flu but instead with the foreign disease.
He was dealt with later this morning, but I fear that whatever bit C.K. is still lurking around.
I send you this photo I found lying in one of the village’s abandoned huts (note: said photo was of a blank faced young man from the turn of the twentieth century). I have no clue who or possibly what this is, but I feel it has some significance in our research. The back of the photo read: --
(note: paper torn, rest illegible)
(date illegible)
Dear diary,
I’m rather sorry that the words on this page are funny, but to our crew’s dismay when we woke this morning we noticed the S.S.W slowly sinking in the village harbor.
Everyone quickly raced on and dismembered the ship of its (rest illegible due to blurred ink and torn paper)
We are stuck and need assistance, this me mailing you these entries.
PLEASE SEND HELP!!!
SOS!!!
With all due respect,
“Savage” Steven Vukcevich
Will Savage Steven survive whatever ambiguous, menacing force was after him? Will the Riddle of Steel be undone like the Gordian Knot of antiquity or the code of the Enigma Machine from WWII? We have no way of knowing, and it seems likely that Savage Steven met a terrifying, bloody end amongst the sweltering Madagascar jungles. Our only clue is a bumper sticker for Federico’s Mexican Food* restaurant of the proud states of Arizona and New Mexico, and this was swiftly affixed to the War-Wagon, the last of the majestic Legacy Fleet. We at JREZHS feel that we may have dropped the ball on this one, but are currently unable to get to Madagascar, much less out of Paris.
We blame the Church of Living Death.
And society.
* http://www.federicosmexicanfood.com/
