2/4/2k5: ZOMBIE DINOSAUR/ALICE THOMPSON UPDATE:
Many months ago, JREZHS elite zombie hunter Zachary "Carven" Kervin, upon seeing the chaos and destruction in Boston on the Jim Rage Elite Zombie Hunting Viewing Globe, vowed to hunt down and destroy the Thanosaurus-Rex and put an end to its brain-eating ways. Armed only with with his bundle of psychoses and a chain and meathook, Kervin took the train to Boston. Despite the ensuing fights with the conductor, Casey O'Maley, Kervin arrived in Boston twenty-eight days later. For three days and night, Kervin tracked the undead thunder-lizard through the cordonned-off streets of Boston, equipped with his keen elite zombie hunter instincts and his giger counters. Eventually he discovered the beast on Boylston Street, having just devoured a clan of student filmmakers hoping to capture the beast on film.
The fight has to be the most graphically violent battle in the history of the human race. Kervin fought with the loathsome thing day and night, hacking and slashing with his Shinning Meat-Hook of Glory and Liberty. Ultimately, the beast attempted to flee and Kervin gave chase.
Despite its titanic size and mindless undead ferocity, the beast managed to avoid Kervin. After many months of trekking across America in the cars of those friendly-and-yet-so-naive-people-who-pick-up-hitchhikers, Kervin finally located the monster.
In Mexico.
The battle in Mexico city was quite a rumble. Forty-seven deputized zombie hunters were either devoured or zombified by the dinosaur's field of radiation, and Kervin's meathook snapped in half after giving into the pressure of the beast's slobbering jaws. To make matters worse, he was also attacked by horde of Aztec zombies. Finally, Kervin managed to use a giant helicopter propeller to sever the thing's spinal cord and reduce the undead Aztecs into so much spam.
Upon investigating the dinosaur's stomach (in a manner very similar to that performed by Richard Dreyfuss as Hooper in Jaws), his discovered to his horror Alice Thompson's name tag, casting further doubt on whether or not she made it out alive. Kervin took a solemn oath to never rest until he had unraveled the great mystery and discovered the true fate of Alice Thompson. His last communication with JREZHS was five days ago. A daring photographer attempted to document the events in Boston. He succeded, but was slaughtered in the effort. We commend him for his efforts and this great photo!